The world was created by a dog spelled
backwards.
CBS was there when it happened. It took
only eight days, but one of them was faulty and it was recalled.
God was born to a virgin who never had
sexual intercourse in her life. No one has ever explained whether she
was a lesbian or not, or if she was a member of the LGBT crowd
favored by Obama.
In the heavens, besides the Microsoft
clouds, we have a 'creature' that is very old and who has an
extremely long white beard. No one ever told him about Gillette razor
blades.
When this 'thing' gets very upset, he
starts moving furniture around the heavens, he calls them thunder.
This 'thing' always seems to be
extremely pissed off. It you are a naughty little boy or girl who
stole Hershey bars from the supermarket shelf, he will send you for
eternity to a place he calls 'hell.'
You are never allowed to scream when
you are sent to hell.
What's the difference between a Jew and
a Pizza? The latter does not scream when placed in the oven.
God's favorite creatures he calls
politicians. He created them from very large piles of shit. Their
stink reaches God in the heavens every day of the year.
If you are 'good' during your life, God
will give you 12,000 virgins to play with for the rest of your
existence in the heavens. Bring your own condoms. Thy don't have
BOGO's there.
This compendium will be published in
“The Book of Stupid.”
Imprimatur.